Ground rules here. TLDR: we have 32 Million to spend as a fake GM to perform better than the real GM.
Part 1: Jeff Joiner.
So, what am going to do to fix this team? Well honestly, you can’t. Too little money, too terrible of a team, punting for after Arte sells the team is the feasible option. But as Arte is my fake boss, I have to take this bad situation and roll the dice to move my mice. What do I do?
Looking at the team, it is not looking good. On offense we have an injured Trout, Ward, Jo Adell, M-I-C-K-E-Y, and Soler in the outfield. I am assuming IRL Perry is thinking of using M-I-C-K-E-Y as a defensive role only, mostly for either Trout or Soler in later innings. Speaking of Trout, wanting him to DH only will seem unlikely as he is stubborn. Being a corner OF is the best we can get out of him, with some DH days.
That looks rather bad, but is the least of our worries, because the infield is worse. Rendon is DONE, meaning Rengifo will have to play 3B often, but he is coming off a season ending injury. Neto is good at SS, but 2B is ??? unless fast tracking our top pick is our goal. Meaning that besides SS, everywhere else is a bunch of hope and prayer at best and most likely a random AAAA guy will play a good chunk at 3 of those positions.
As for starting pitching, well, it isn’t nearly as bad, but not great by any means. A bunch of young arms who need to prove themselves, some vets who need to show they belong, and no ace. At all. Yeesh.
Then the bullpen is, well, for all the trades and moves, it wasn’t the worst thing, and with how volatile those are, I would rather ignore it since we aren’t playoff contenders at all.
All this says that if I want a team worth watching, infield is the priority, followed by SP. Those things solved and the team will be bad rather than unwatchable. So, how to fix these things?
Sign Hyeseong Kim 3/24M
A second baseman from Korea, young, and defensive first, this signing is all about getting something to dangle in Arta’s face, marketing. Yeah sure, it isn’t much, but if I can convince Arte that he can go lean into the Korean market, that may save me my imaginary job. Anyway, he is cheap, and can hold down 2B until Moore is ready, plus he has covered SS before, so he can play that if Neto needs a breather. Up the middle defense is vital, and with C and SS covered, getting a good 2B helps a ton for our young pitching staff.
32-8= 24 M left.
Sign Ha-Seong Kim 1/12M
I said corner the Korean Market, didn’t I? This MLB vet Kim is also still pretty young, but will start the year injured. That is fine, since that means he is cheap, and will be able to play 3B nicely. He is a defensive player with patience and does not strike out often, great to counter the high K rates of the outfield. He can also play 2B and SS, giving multiple options to cover those positions and have depth on this team.
24-12=12 M left.
That means the infield now has Rengifo, 2 Kims, Neto, and Nolan. Not bad, and very confusing for our opponents. But there is still a Rendon sized Rendon in the room. He needs to be dealt with. But how? I am of too not make enough money to buy a subscription to the trade website, but maybe someone posted some Rendon trades and I will see if any make sense.
So, an Angels fan really wanted this to go through, but this seems very unlikely. I mean, yeah, the money is literally the same (38 Million) but why would the Phillies do this? Sure, Walker and Castellanos has combined for negative BWAR this year, but Rendon is also… not good. At all. All this does is save Philly a roster spot? Well, maybe, just maybe our good relationship in trading makes him see the value in that, and, after some drinks, and a trip to Del Taco, well, we make the deal somehow. This is my thing anyway, so, whatever. It goes through on the basis that I want it to.
Angels Trade Anthony Rendon to the Phillies for Nick Castellanos and Taijuan Walker
As said above, the money is a wash, so still 12M left. But now we have a pitcher who USED to be good. Years ago. But, but, he can be good again maybe? Eh, we are gambling anyway. Anyway the real prize is Castellanos. Not because he is good at the moment, no, but because he feeds off of tragedy, and this Angels team is filled with it. Also yes, the memes.
It does mean that we now have a ton of outfielders in the outfield, maybe 2 of them both healthy and good at defense. What do we do now?
Angels Trade Jorge Soler to Arizona for Jordan Montgomery
If there was one thing that the Sneks owner was very clear about this offseason is that he really regretted signing Montgomery last offseason and that he felt that Boras screwed him over. He even tried to get Jordan to decline the option by being publicly mean. Alas, it did not work. I can save his day, by trading for him. Sure, his 2024 was horrendous, but he was very solid beforehand, a bounce back idea if there was one. Either way, I am sure someone will trade for him come July so, prospects for me! Also it gets rid of Soler, which was a bad move at the time. It is a 6.5M dollar difference, and owners being owners, he might be stingy, so I have to eat it.
12-6.5= 5.5M left
Roster
At the moment this means a rotation of Detmers, Montgomery, Walker, Anderson, and some combination of Caden Dana, Jack Kochanowicz, José Suarez, Davis Daniel, Chase Silseth, and so on. Someone will win the job, most likely Caden, and the rest can stay in AA until injuries occur/trades. Although, this team does not have an ace, but it is filled with players that can be traded in July, so, there is THAT. Besides, their names are big and long, which is what Arte likes. Right?
Infield is Kim, Kim, Rengifo, Neto, and Nolan, with Rengifo starting at 3B to start the year and being utility man. Catchers are Logan and Thaiss.
Ourfield is Ward, Castellanos, and Trout, with Jo Adell and M-I-C-K-E-Y getting starts/defensive replacement when one of them are at DH/injured because you know they will be. I expect DH to be Castellanos and Trout when they are healthy.
Bullpen will be pretty much the same as this year. Joyce, and healthy guys from AA and AAA.
As for the lineup, ideally, something akin to this.
- Kim
- Trout
- Ward
- Castellanos
- Neto
- Nolan
- Logan
- Adell
- Rengifo
So, what do you think? Can this team win 70 games? The point being that the money spent will be on players that can be flipped in July. I expect Walker, Anderson, and Jordan to all be traded by the deadline, all while Arte and the not smart fans think we are competing and will spend money, while the smart fans knows this team will suck and are looking forward to the prospects to trade these guys later. As for that last 5.5 Million? Well, IRL Perry somehow made a move between me writing this last night and it’s publication.
Sign Kyle Hendricks 1/3M
In horror I watch as Perry made a move while I was unconscious. How could he do this? Panicking, I now realize that money I was going to use is now mostly gone. For what? Kyle Hendricks? A pitcher who is so washed up that Weaver could pitch better than him NOW?
Oh well, we are doomed. I tried my best.
