Black Magic Makes Griffin Canning Lose Strike Zone for 4 Batters in Angels Loss

Diamondbacks 6 Angels 2

A teensy tiny bit of insight into the postgame process. Oftentimes, staffwriters start early because we need to try and pump these out as close to the ending of a game as possible for the purpose of engagement and keeping the site up. It’s a bit of a hassle, therefore, when a game is late and close and we don’t know what to type or what to say because the tone we want to take hasn’t quite revealed itself yet.

Of course, you can imagine my relief when a game is over by the top of the 2nd inning allowing one to type away as they cope, seethe, and feel the frustration fester inside the depths of their core. Griffin Canning is truly an Angel tonight, giving me the satisfaction of angrily and loudly clack-clack-clacking a rant on my keyboard just a mere hour into the game.

Starting pitching seems to have all fallen apart at the same time, and interestingly enough, they seem to now be doing it in big singular collapses that suddenly right themselves after the game is safely out of reach. Last night was Patrick Sandoval getting BABIPed by a bunch of soft contact and tonight, Canning utterly went blind and was throwing into the wrong area code for 4 straight batters with two outs. Of course, he realized right in the nick of time (with the bases loaded and a full count that he could only put his slider in the zone, so he proceeded to deliver it middle middle where even my grandmother could send it into the stands. He then returned to form and promptly STRUCK OUT THE NEXT 5 BATTERS IN A ROW and didn’t even allow another baserunner through the rest of his performance. He ended up throwing 112 pitches as if he was going for a complete game shutout while striking out 9 including the entirety of the Diamondbacks’ side of the 6th inning.

If you didn’t catch that, Griffin Canning lost the game in what can only be described as a freak occurence before turning into the future ace he’s looked like all June long.

It’s almost like the baseball gods are giving us our divine retribution for having scored a lot against Colorado. At the very least, Chase Anderson must have called up his witchy buddy from back in high school and put a hex on the team, just like Brett Phillips did last year after Rendon’s left-handed homer.

I know what you’re going to say. “Well, Griffin Canning may have had that bad inning, but you can’t win if you don’t score some runs.” First of all, I’m not even blaming players at this point. This is some quite apparent voodoo garbage sucking the life out of the organization when it finally has the chance to earn its keep. This is just a baseball team. What can we be expected to do against shamanic evil? Or, alternate theory: maybe it’s because they won on a Saturday. The Halos were doing great as long as we were guaranteed to lose every 7th day.

Oh by the way, Ohtani hit his 30th home run a record-setting 493 feet and Trout continued to get hot with another multi-hit day. Fans have Tungsten Arm O’Doyle comments coming their way, so here’s the small consolation.