As you might have heard, there’s been something of a dumpster fire billowing around our division rivals in Houston. What started as an honest scoundrel’s attempt to tilt the system in their favor like Han Solo before he cleaned up his act and found a good cause has turned into an “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” style circular economy of fail. Except this time the meatheads are actual professional athletes and there’s a tone-deaf billionaire involved (which seems to be another epidemic of its own but I digress).
In the span of a few days, the Astros have managed to bring even more hate and discontent down upon themselves than most of us thought possible. It was bad enough that they started with a completely insincere and pathetic “apology” press conference. Then, when MLB players, some of whom were directly impacted by their corruption speak out with justifiable anger, they have the audacity to act like victims and even get offended that their opponents would question their supremely questionable integrity (See: Correa, Carlos, Galactic Purveyor Extraordinaire of Crocodile Tears.) Was what Bellinger and Bauer, whom I half the time can’t stand and half the time find myself nodding along with, had to say harsh? Yes, but none of it was without merit. The Astros cheated the entire league for at least one season, and possibly more depending what rumors you believe. They did cost their hardworking peers wins and awards, and probably roster spots and money in some cases. If that’s not fucked up and worthy of anger, I don’t know what is. At least one new Astro, Dusty Baker, Manager of Toxic Cleanup on Aisle Seven, seems to realize that the dumbasses he has to shepherd through this ring of fire are making his job impossible and digging their own graves, calling for MLB to put a stop to “premeditated retaliation that I’m hearing about.” Dusty’s right to be worried even if his faux players aren’t.
Which leads me to my main point: The Angels are the first team in MLB to face the Astros on the diamond since this dumpster fire started. We play them 7 times in the first 10 games of the season, in fact. The league will be watching what our players do and that presents the Angels with an opportunity to set the tone.
The way I see it, there are three options:
Option 1: Old-School Hardball
This is pretty self-explanatory and also where I think this situation is headed. Beanballs to the worst offenders in the scandal itself and the loudest asshats since, like Correa. Spikes on the basebaths, benches clearing, the whole deal. There’s a lot of justified rage burning around the league right now and the Astros are stoking it with their self-righteousness and brazen hypocrisy. All it’s going to take is one Correa comment to an Aaron Judge or a bat being carried 45 feet by the Archdouhce of Astrosia himself, Alex Bregman to start something. Some teams, including the Angels, may not even wait for that and want to plan something on their own. The umpires will try to control it, but there will be ways around. Your starter can send the last pitch of his day into Altuve’s ribs in the 7th, then take the five days he was gonna have off anyway. A middle reliever or opener can drill somebody once he’s got two outs in an otherwise clean inning. It’s gonna get interesting.
Option 2: The Cold Shoulder/Mental Game
This is basically a middle option. No displays of friendship on the field, active chirping toward touchy pitchers like Verlander when you’re on the basepaths, and so on. Maybe a few fights break out, but it’s more about the psychological impact of being hated by your peers, who you’re gonna have to play with after free agency or a trade unless you’ve already gotten that big contract. Opposing fans will help here like they will in all scenarios, but the real impact comes when other players snub them. It would be great to see no Astros make the ASG, and any that do sitting by themselves in the AL dugout the whole time.
Option 3: Taking the High Road
You could also call this “turning the other cheek.” The Angels and other teams don’t do anything but business as usual against the Astros, leaving retribution to what’s already been meted out by MLB and any more that might come from future revelations. Personally, I think this will be the final phase of the process once the rest of the league has gotten it’s anger out, but not something we’ll see right away. Call it a hunch from having been in a few environments with a lot of macho dudes where loyalty and putting in your fair share to the group effort was an unspoken expectation, but I could be wrong.
My preferences and predictions are pretty obvious from what I wrote above, but I’m curious what the rest of you think. What say you, Crashers? What do you want Mike Trout and company to do? What do you think the league will do? Share your thoughts below.
One of my buddies is an oddsmaker in Vegas …
How about something completely different? Everyone should boycott all of Houston’s away games. It would tell them that we’re not going to waste our hard earned money to watch a bunch of cheaters. Also, I think that the visiting team gets a share of the gate. So this would hurt them financially too, even if it would be a bit of a sting to the home team. But I think if it was possible to have the stadium be as empty as possible would be the best way to send them a message. Hopefully, it would catch on around the league and Houston would have to go through an entire season of playing in front of empty stadiums.
MLB, The Players Union & The Players. I find it interesting that the Commish and MLB had to negotiate Full Immunity for certain MLB players to come clean. But hey, the Player’s Union is powerful and can litigate for their players. The same players who love (or maybe not ) their Players Union are now bitching at the Commish that the punishment was too light if any at all against their cheating Union mates. Oh well. Meanwhile, MLB came to a conclusion that they could not find any cheating during the 2019 season while keeping this pretty hush hush from the fans last year. Makes me believe that all of the anger from the Union Players is because they know that same shit was going on last season and that the Commish and MLB is covering it’s ass because to admit it knew it was happening last season would blow up it’s own investigative credibility or maybe that was part of the “full immunity agreement” so as to cover each others asses. Sounds like a bunch of hot air coming from the union players if they can’t go to their union bosses and have them punish their dirty union mates.
I’m going to the opening game in Anaheim, and, honestly, I’m dreading it.
I fear it’s just going to be an ugly affair. From the fan’s feeling to the players, no doubt whatever they may project back, to whatever may happen on the field (innocent or not).
I just fear there’s going to be a cloud over the game.
And it’s a drag because obviously that’s not what I got to a ballpark for. It’s not what I pay silly prices to see.
I’m an option 3 guy. Play the game, beat them anyway.
We’ll know more since we’ll be coming home from the series in Houston. Maybe the team will have it all out of their system by then.
Or, maybe it’ll just be cresting to a boil.
We’re supposed to be looking forward to the season start, not simply enduring it.
(Why don’t we have paragraphs?)
What I would suggest
Instead of Beanballs
Ump says “Playball!”
Pitcher (Heaney?) steps off the mound and in unison, all the players (including the dugout and the bulpen) face the other way, turning their backs on the Astros for 1 minute.
This is WAY more impactful, would probably be the lead story on Sportscenter, and has a longer lasting effect than a beanball
Either that or…
We forefit the first game. Refusing to play, causing a stir in the MLB front offices
or.
We bean the first 3 batters of the game to load the bases. Make them charge the mound….. But I like my first idea better
I like your first idea better. Worst case is the umpire starts calling balls due to delay of game while the entire team turns their backs. The other options you propose directly hurt the Angels’ chances of winning the division this year so I’m good foregoing those “statements”. Let the Yankees and Dodgers make their own statements toward the Assterisks.
Can’t see why the Angels would have to willing do #1 for the rest of the league. The Yanks and Dodgers are up to something anyway, aren’t they? Let them take the burden of representing the league further into the season when they face the Asterisks.(too GA to see whether there is an inter-league game for LAD)
And especially for the Opening day, please crush them by pure baseball. We have to.
If we cannot win, well, flip to plan B and perhaps go full Old school as it certainly would look bad BOTH losing and not throwing any beanballs.
This is more my position. If the two richest most loaded teams (and fanbases) in baseball want to go out there and lose some players to suspension while risking losing players to injury because they feel especially cheated they can go ahead and handle their own business. We got cheated out of exactly nothing because our team was a door mat. Each time I read or hear one of these tough as nails Yankee/Doyer fans rant about what the Angels need to do it makes me like the fact that the Astros screwed them a little more. Why should my team play the rough chump for their anger when Cody Bellinger’s big f***in mouth deserves a square go at George Springer so much more than Mike Trout’s does? Let Giancarlo Stanton and Aaron Judge clumsily strain muscles trying to fight the Astros in Yankee Stadium. Let their best player take one to the dome from Verlander in retaliation for hitting Altuve. Let the Yankees lose another pitcher to injury in a brawl. I love that idea and will love watching the Rays pass them in the standings even more.
I think as “expectations” for some big event in the first series grow at the end of March I’m going to get sick of it and start to really want the Angels to do NOTHING accept mock the AssBros and beat them on the field if they can. When all the dimwits it blue show up for our home opener and no fight breaks out those fuctards can feel free to go find an Astro themselves and get their faces mushed in by a cheater…. or those brave boys in blue can handle their own business in Arizona. Right now those fans are the hot chick in a club who won’t ever give you the time of day finally sidling up to you and asking you to fight some guy who was mean to them. Screw that.
Why all the focus on the Angels’ opener? Teams should go after the Astros in spring training games.
Then switch to #2 in the regular season.
Great idea! There ya go. Get suspensions in Spring Training, when it doesn’t matter. Of course, asshat Manfred would probably make the punishments in ST applicable to regular season games, so that wouldn’t help.
Here’s an idea –
1- the first few times we throw’em some chin music high and tight, bang a trash can loudly so they know what’s coming.
2 – plunk them a few times in conjunction so they can figure out our ‘signals’
3 – after they’re on to us, continue to bang trash can occasionally implying that high heat is coming up next, but then start mixing in some low and away stuff
4 – repeat about 6 times a game through out the year
You remember SB Nation? There’s a site there called Crawfish Boxes. Boy! Talk about a cesspool! They’re mad at everybody. They’re mad at Trout. They think Correa “brought down the hammer” on Bellinger, not realizing that they’re in a fringe minority who don’t think Houston should be stripped of their 2017 “title”.
That sure also said Lucroy moved into Maresnick and the slow motion replay showed Jake trying to avoid contact.
Reality doesn’t sit well over there.
I think it starts as 2. Nobody talks to them during warm ups, some hard slides, maybe even stealing abs trying to run up scores if possible.
But if games get to 4 or 5 run gaps in either direction, look for message pitches and a few rib shots.
I’m all for old-school hardball when the situation calls for it. When the other team is beaning your best hitter, you have to retaliate to protect him, for example.
I don’t think this situation calls for old-school hardball.
I think this situation calls for beating the Trasshterisks, soundly and often, and granting them bases and getting our guys suspended is not going to help with that. The best message the team could possibly send is, “You aren’t so good when you don’t cheat, are you?” And beating them is the best way to send that message.
So I guess I’m calling for a modified Option 3: The Angel players should go about their business while giving the Trasshterisk players the cold shoulder, the old “send them to Coventry” treatment. Just disregard them as much as possible while still playing the game. They shouldn’t chirp, taunt nor show anger. They should just be cold, ruthless exterminators of disease-carrying vermin.
Hopefully, this will eventually goad the Trasshterisks to start something, and then the suspensions will be on them, as they should have been in the first place. But in any event, in my experience the Coventry treatment always works to shatter the target’s composure and psych them out.
it’s just not up to the Angels or any other team to take care of this. It’s Manfred’s problem. Hitting batters is a stupid “solution”
Agree — not interested in beanballs and no need to feed the Assbro martyr complex anyway. Ideally fans would boycott their road games but unfortunately the opposite is likely to happen. If you must go, just make lots of noise whenever they are at bat. Cold shoulder by players on other teams, no all star game votes, etc are also good ideas. Cold, silent contempt can be a lot more powerful than a raging temper tantrum.
In fantasyland, each team would cancel one road trip to Houston and forfeit all those games in protest. The team could go do something fun instead. It might hurt each team a little financially, but would be a major financial blow to the Assbros. And when they inevitably win the division in this scenario, it would only highlight what a farce they are.
Sadly, I am expecting a pathetic version of all of this mashed together. If the Angels, or another team, want a fight, they should come out and say it. Intimate they will be throwing at the cheaters, welcome the brawl to come, plan to live with what ever punishments or injuries happen, and decide as a team it’s worth it. Then step up and get to it. Am I in favor of this? No, not really. Nothing is really at stake, the team starting the fight is being vengeful, but isn’t stopping anything, isn’t protecting their ability to compete or not be intimidated in any way, so I’m not sure the possible counter productivity is balanced out. Still, if you want to fight someone, friggin call em out and do it.
It would be nice if the second option could be mixed with the Astros getting their asses kicked in games…. especially in games against the Angels. This’ll be tough though because, honestly, most teams can’t go toe to toe with the Astros even without cheating.
So what we will get is modern tofu male posturing. Lots of talk and tweets and blubber muscle call ins to sports talk radio when the Astros come to town. Doyer fans wanting the Angels to handle their team’s shit for them, etc. The Astros will rally together because they are now “the victims” and we’ll get bullshit tweets about “standing alone” or what ever….. maybe even some sweet warfare references. There will also probably be some hard slides and hot moments where players then dissemble and declare they weren’t trying to hurt anyone etc instead of being old school men and saying “hell yeah I was out to hurt him”.
Eventually some punk pitcher who is getting shelled by the Astros will blast one into Alex Bregman or Altuve. It won’t be because he’s fighting for justice, it will be because he feels powerless and embarrassed by the ass kicking he is taking and throws a tantrum pitch. There will be a fight. The wanker who blew it all up will try to declare this was because someone had to take a stand blah blah blah. Internet will whine about violence, toxic masculinity, the lack of masculinity, Don Drysdale, John Wayne…. some twat will quote Sun Tzu or Machiavelli.
Life will continue to be one long fart.
You had me at “Life will continue to be one long fart”
The simple answer is FUCK YES!! Do it while playing in Minute Maid as well, don’t give the cheatin’ bastards any rest……even in their own ballpark.
Oh boy. I can’t wait for the Angels Home opener lineup introductions. This is going to be SOOO Awesome.
Teams at home, let the fans deal with it. You might see quite a few drums in the stands. Now if I’m the Yankees or Dodgers- #1 is a must.
I think we’d risk losing respect ourselves if we didn’t retaliate – at least is some manner. The entire league and its fans are pissed off. If we open the season against these guys and just act like it’s business as usual, folks will be very disappointed with us. They’ll call us soft and heartless. Instead, imagine what it would do to our fan base and national credibility if we stand up to the bullies in front of a large national audience united with Yankee and Dodger fans in the season opener.
Maybe we don’t have to bean them (or maybe we do). Maybe send three backup pitchers in a row up to pitch, each sending a fastball 2-3 feet behind the batter. The pitcher gets tossed, another comes up, does the same. Tossed again, repeat again. Coach ejected to standing ovation. A lot of jawing, a lot of trash talk, crowd participation/mocking…
….and Mike Trout decides, for the first time in his career, to admire his home run with a Monster bat flip, and a slow, deliberate walk around the bases.
Trout carrying the bat all the way to third base and dropping it at the feet of Bregman, after hitting the long ball against Verlander would be quite sweet. Tapping his chest while passing Altuve would be the icing.
He won’t. He is too good for that, but it would be so sweet.
There’s no way Mike would do that, but it would be a spectacle
I thought it was illegal to carry the bat past 1B?
So what would Manfred do to the GOAT that he didn’t do to the Cheating Basterisks?
Pedro Serrano did it, so it must be OK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYSKRsJVrrE
It’s times like this I really wish Albert Pujols was still good. I’d settle for him pimping a single just to start something though.
One of the things might also be some punch happy umpire being to quick calling a normal inside fastball an attempt to hit the batter and ejecting both the pitcher and manager
Very good point admkir. I think this is important. Surely the umpires will have been briefed by the MLB offices and thus may be hypersensitive to any pitch or any action perceived even in the slightest way to be retaliatory. This of couse is incredibly unfair to the Angels and other teams who will be playing Houston this upcoming season. But, you are correct.
That would just fuel the fire, I think. The more the umps are seen to be coddling the Astros, the longer the anger against them will continue.
Taking away the inside of the plate just gifts the Astros a batting advantage. That would be a fun argument to keep trotting out against the league, and I can see the umps reacting by allowing more leeway to pitch inside again as a consequence.
I can see the catcher turning to the home plate umpire before every batter and telling him, “We’re gonna pitch this guy inside. We aren’t trying to hit him.”
Even if they aren’t going to go inside, just to mess with the ump’s and the player’s heads.
KInd of like the new “ask for permission before putting your seat back” bullshit.
Well, there are a couple of reasons I would not choose # 3. Let’s not forget our history with this Astros team. Just last season Marisnick took our catcher out with a dirty high hit and he was lauded by his teammates and the Houston fanbase. It is clear these guys don’t understand the meaning of playing fair.
Interesting that Maddon is now the manager. The timing is perfect. I think that potentially changes things quite a bit. If Catorce were still in charge you can be sure that the “turn the other cheek” philosophy would again be implemented. The problem I had with Soth and this idea was that sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. That is not to say we should cheat, but rather we need to hit back. These guys are clearly not the least bit remorseful. Just like school yard bullies the only thing that impacts them, the only thing they will understand is being punched right in the face.
I will say that we’ll have to pick/choose our spot/s carefully. You don’t want this to cost you a game or games. But the psychological game of baseball is almost as important as the purely physical game on the field. Unlike Soth, I think Maddon understands this. If you allow other teams to gain the advantage psychologically you are already at a big disadvantage.
Nate, I like your idea about hitting someone in the 7th inning, etc. Preferably this would be done in a game we already have a comfortable lead in and not in a tie game were you would be putting the potential go ahead run on base. I think Maddon will have a good grip on this. He’ll almost certainly take the temperature of the clubhouse and see where to go from there. But judging on the comments of Heaney it is a good bet that alot of our guys have unexpressed anger about all this. SO, I do think something will be done. What exactly that is remains to be seen.
7th inning? More than likely the 4th or possibly 5th inning. When was the last time The Angels had a starter make it into the last out of the 7th inning?
I too am curious to see what Maddon dreams up.
Yes, the Angels should retaliate…along with the rest of MLB.
A lot of Houston players are going to get one in the ribcage this season.