I wake up at an unfamiliar desk. I am in an office of some sort, lights on, feels very corporate. What is very strange is that I just feel… smaller.
My teeth chatter.
The AC is on. But that’s not why I did that. I think.
I look around and see a computer opened. An email is on the screen.
Hey Perry,
Reminder that due to the lockout in 27, there should be as little money on the books past 26 as possible. So focus on one year deals. Unless they are billboard material, then by all means go ahead and lock him up, I need to sell more ad space. Oh and by on the books I mean anyone making any real money, if you want to keep buying kids for cheap, go ahead, I like having to spend less. I just don’t want to give someone 15 Million to just stay home and be a welfare queen and get fat during the lockout. Freeloading players disgust me.
Do things right and I will put in a good word for you once Baseball resumes in 28.
Oh no. Oh NO. I am Perry!
I notice the Angels stuff everywhere and a sticky note that has Taylor Ward’s name crossed off. I must have become Perry after the trade. This is bad, I have no idea how long I will stay like this, but I have to maximize my chance.
Thinking fast, I check the news to see who is available.
Easton Lucas has been released by the Blue Jays.
Now THAT is cheap. I pick up the phone and call his agent’s number. Which is…
I panic and try to find something, anything that will allow me to do that. Thankfully,. the PC is logged in and there is a spreadsheet. After some time, I find the number and call.
My teeth chatter again. I have no idea why.
Sign Easton Lucas to a 1 Year, 0.8M dollar deal
Easton Lucas is still rookie eligible, and a lefty pitcher. Sure, things were rough last season, but he had flashes of brilliance. Perhaps this is a mistake, but I have no idea how much longer I am able to do anything.
Let’s see, who else should I get on? We need RP with Detmers back in the rotation. Jansen!
Sign Kenley Jansen 1Y/9M
Jansen liked it here,. Just have to hope the real Platypus deals him this time to a contender. Fangraphs has him at 9M.
I check MLBTradeRumors, see who would be good for a 1 year deal. Older pitchers mostly. Verlander and Scherzer are likely ring chasing. But Tyler Mahle…
Sign Tyler Mahle 1Y/15M
Injury prone pitcher, but a damn good one. Risky business is the name of the game right now. So that’s pitching depth, no way that I can outbid the other teams for anyone better like Dylan Cease. And We still need a 3B. Rendon is RenDONE.
Wait a second, CBS said the Angels are the most likely to get Munetaka Murakami? HOW? I mean, a power bat 3B from Japan is perfect. Well, since this is obviously a dream, or magic or whatever, I make the call.
Sign Munetaka Murakami 8/180M
Well, Yorke Lee says it is a good idea, as does CBS. And yes, I have concerns. Can he actually play 3B? Is this risky? Is Kazuma better? Regardless, he IS younger and will be 26 come Opening Day. Besides, he is a lefty. We need lefty bats and Bellinger is… yeah, no. Besides, sticking it to the Dodgers will get Arte to like me, as I am certain he would rather play there. We have heard no word that he is like Tatsuya Imai who wants to beta them. Oh well.
I check Sportrac and see that the payroll before this is $158,703,098. I may be able to get it up to 210M at most, so, I am at 196M at the moment. That’s 14M left for 2026. Yeesh. Think me, or Perry, or… or baseballtradevaules…
That’s it, i go on the website and find that Perry does not have an account. Stupid cheap Arte. I check the trade boards which are still free, and there, I find something interesting. I pick up the phone and call the Mets.
Trade Soler and Kochanowicz to the Mets for Jeff McNeil
Mets just traded their OF for a 2B, so why not trade them an OF for a 2B? Losing the Jack of 1 trade hurts, but hey, we now have a LEFTY 2B who has played OF as well. I like Jeff, he went to Long Beach State, and considering that the Angels are paying only 13M of Soler, we are getting Jeff at only 2M more to the budget. But also 15M for 2027…
I gulp. Arte is not gonna like THAT. he better be billboard material next year. I believe in him…
So at 198M so far, we still need a CF and more SP.
Have to dumpster dive again, but some here are looking interesting.
Sign Sean Newcomb 1/2M
Why not bring him back? Nuke actually had time as a SP and the bullpen last year, and while I cannot find any info on what he would get in FA, considering even BR doesn’t have his 2025 salary AND Boston cut him makes 2M fair. Besides, he won’t block anyone if he does not do well as he can go in the bullpen.
Sign Mike Yastrzemski 1/10M
Again, cannot find anything about a salary for him at all. He made 9.2M last year and was worth 2.8 BWAR but is a free agent without the Royals even bothering to try and keep him. And even then, the calculator has him as worth 0 as late as Dec 2024. As a 2-2.8 WAR player every year he is literally replacement level. Which means this should work. Right? He is an ACTUAL CF and the Angels need one badly. Also he is another lefty. Neat.
Anyway, all 210M spent for this season, let’s see what this looks like.
Lineup
- Schanuel (1B)
- Neto (SS)
- Murakami (3B)
- Trout (DH)
- Yastrzemski (CF)
- Adell (RF)
- McNeil (2B)
- O’Hoppe (C)
- Lugo/Teodosio (LF)
Rotation Options
- Kikuchi
- Soriano
- Mahle
- Detmers
- Grayson Rodriguez
- Dana
- Newcomb
- Lucas
Bullpen
Bench
If Moore looks good, he can take over 2B and Jeff can have LF. Having options in the rotation is good and Nuke can go in the bullpen. Besides Jeff and Murakami, no one added will be making good money in 27 so hopefully Arte doesn’t beat me or worse…
As I exhale, I hear a buzzing sound and check to see what is making that noise.
I wake up at my desk, back at home, no longer with the responsiblity to save the Angels. With a sigh, I finish this piece and schedule it to go up. Would I make a good Gm for 11 minutes? I don’t know, but at least I tried.
